Marmo's Fridge - An Exposé!

The refrigerator is probably the kitchen's most taken-for-granted-appliance. Often it becomes a dumping ground for foods that we don't know what to do with. Like all the condiments you bought mostly because you liked the packaging, but you really don't know how to use them. Or those eggs, how old are those? And dare you smell that milk to see if it's good? Yeah, I thought not.

The state of my mom's fridge is alarming. I've discovered new life forms in there. Marmo is a fantastic cook, but you would never know it from the state of her refrigerator. The Box has threatened to call the EPA, and if you open the door, various items may launch themselves at you, either because of a lack of space or because they've been in there so long, they JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

Often, the Box opens the door, asks the contents of the fridge the following, "Who's the President?" and receives the answer, "Truman!" Either that, or he opens it and just walks away cursing, usually leaving the door slightly open, creaking forlornly back and forth.

My favorite refrigerator-related incident was when myself, The Box, and Marmo were all gathered in the kitchen 'round the fridge (kind of like the campfire). The Box opened the door, and food containers just came spilling out, splattering on the floor. Marmo looked at the mess and declared, "This place is a PIG HOLE!" To which I responded, "Mom, I don't think pigs live in holes. It's either a s@%t hole or a pig sty. But yes, it is."

Accordingly, what follows is a (mostly) complete itemization of the stuff in Marmo's fridge (bonus door shelves follow!) spotted the last time I was there. Here we go:

1. Two milk containers, both opened: I grabbed one for a bowl of cereal, asking (innocently), "Why are there two containers of open milk?" Marmo's response, "Oh, one of them isn't good." Then why....oh forget it.

2. Diet Orange Crush: The Box drinks this for breakfast. I can't even express how grossed out I am by this.

3. One Egg Yolk in a Tupperware Container: Just in case, I guess.

4. Heavy Cream: Also one of two heavy creams in the fridge. Both opened.

5. Pizza Dough: Also, just in case. But this makes way more sense than the single egg yolk.

6. Roasted Red Peppers: A staple in the Iaciofano house. Used for antipasto, salads, and thrown into just about anything. If you can spot all the containers of these, you get a prize (yes, there are more than one).

7. Leftover Take-Out Chinese: But from WHEN??

8. Arm and Hammer Baking Soda: In the hopes that this one tiny box, shoved aaaalllllll the way in the back can do something to tame the madness within. Not a chance.

9. Some Kind of Swiss Chard and White Bean Stew: I actually took my chances with this one and ate it. It was good.

10. That COULD be Leftover Gravy From Thanksgiving: Help us all if it is.

11. Unopened Butter: And yes, our fridge does have a butter shelf, but apparently only OPENED butter goes in there, as you'll see from the door photograph.

12. Eggs: We have an egg shelf too...

13. Meat and Cheese Drawer: Open if you can. It has been known to be so stacked with cold cuts that it gets stuck.



And now the door! Check out all these mysterious condiments! Who knows the last time they were opened...

14. Apple Jelly: What is this used for?

15. I Don't Even Know: I could have turned the bottle around to check the label, but I forgot my HAZMAT suit.

16. Ponzu Sauce!: I feel like when you say PONZU! you need an exclamation point. Also, no idea what you use this for.

17. Maple Syrup: This is the good stuff.

18. Lard: Real, honest to goodness lard. Good job, Marmo.

19. Mascarpone Cheese: Once I opened a container of this stuff only to find a fuzzy, green mess. I actually have a photo of it, but I won't horrify you all with that. Besides, I sent it to the CDC and am awaiting a response...

20. Various Asian Sauces: Plum Sauce, some kind of Thai flavoring...You know, I'm not sure I've ever seen Marmo cook with these.

21. Hot Sauces: An assortment.

22. Hero Strawberry Preserves: Love this brand. My favorite is the blueberry.

As the holidays are approaching, Marmo's refrigerator will become even more populated with random (and not-so-random) stuff. A filet mignon, heads of cauliflower and even more butter will all take up residence on the shelves, probably being horseshoed into the tight crevices between the ever-important Orange Crush and the carton of spoiled milk.

It will become a dangerous place for even the bravest of souls, items shifting and changing in the night, so that one moment you put in some left over baked ziti and upon retrieving it, find this in it's place.

Iaciofano Family Christmas Cookies

Like many families, the Iaciofanos have their own Christmas cookie traditions. We work with a general rotation of around 18 different species of cookie, depending on Marmo's level of energy for baking (unbounded), our relative moods, and the amount of free space in the house for cookie hiding places.

Why make cookies and hide them, you may ask. Frankly, it is because The Box and John will eat them all before anyone else has a crumb.

The Box prefers 3am cookie feasts, delving into the overflowing tins when no one else is around. He thinks no one notices, and will even categorically deny eating any cookies at all. However, when you open a tin first thing in the morning (cookies are good for breakfast) and it looks like low tide at the bay, you know The Box has struck again.

In contrast, John will eat the cookies out in the open, but treats them much like popcorn, grabbing actual handfuls and walking away with them.

So we hide the cookies. Under side tables, up in high cabinets, inside dresser drawers, in the dryer. It only throws them off temporarily, but that's usually all we need to make it to Christmas.



What follows are three Iaciofano cookie staples. Whichever other cookies we make, these are never out of rotation. They are:

The Pizzelle: a traditional Italian wafer cookie made with anise seeds.

Mexican Wedding Balls (aka Russian Tea Cakes): little snowballs of butter, sugar and pecans.

Butter Cookies: tree and wreath shaped cookies that are almost solidly butter.



My favorites are the Pizzelle. About 10 years ago, I rolled an uncooked ball of Pizzelle dough in a bowl of circular rainbow sprinkles before putting it in the special Pizzelle iron to cook. The result looked like a cross between a Fourth of July firework and a tie-died shirt. We've been doing this brand of abstract expressionist Pizzelle ever since. Here's how it works:

What You Need:
6 eggs
2 Tablespoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup sugar
6 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup melted butter
2 Tablespoons anise seeds (or to your preference)
Special Gear: pizzelle iron



What To Do:
Heat up your pizzelle iron.

Beat the eggs, adding sugar gradually. Beat the sugar and egg mixture until smooth. Add the COOLED melted butter (if you don't cool the butter you will cook the eggs when you add it in).

Sift the flour and baking powder and add it to the egg mixture. Mix well, adding in the anise seeds as you go.

Roll the dough into small balls, then coat with sprinkles. Press them into the pizzelle iron and close the lid. Let bake a few minutes until very lightly golden. Lay flat to cool.





John loves the Russian Tea Cakes (an extremely close contender to the Pizzelle for me). Dusted with confectioners sugar, these buttery, pecan-y snowballs practically melt in your mouth. You can always tell when someone's been at them, however, as the confectioners sugar tends to make a mess and you end up looking like the powdery version of a child with his first ice cream cone.

The following Russian Tea Cake recipe has been handed down from my grandmother (on The Box's side) and is surprisingly easy.

What You Need:
1 cup of butter
1/2 cup confectioners sugar (plus more for dusting)
3/4 cup finely chopped pecans
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups flour

What To Do:
Mix together the butter and sugar until creamy. Add in the flour, nuts and vanilla to the butter and sugar mixture.

Roll the resulting dough into 1" balls. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes (may need a few more minutes - the bottoms of the cookies will turn a light brown). Remove them from the oven and while the are still warm, roll them in confectioners sugar.



Note: I also like to dust them a bit with the sugar after I roll them around in it. Makes them look a little more even (if you like that kind of thing).




Unsurprisingly, The Box prefers the simplicity of the Butter Cookies. Consequently, these are usually the first to disappear. This year my mom and I juuuuuust managed to get them packaged up and put away in a top secret location before he arrived home.

What You Need:
1 cup butter
3 oz. of cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 cups flour
Special Gear: one of these cookie presses featured below:



What To Do:
Cream the butter and cream cheese, adding in the sugar while you mix. Then add in the vanilla. Slowly add the flour in increments, and mix well. Put the dough (not all of it at once, calm down!) in the cookie press and follow the directions on the box (this usually involves pressing the handle until the dough squeezes out through the stencil at the base of the cookie press).

Bake at 400 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

When you're done, get a hold of some cookie tins in which to store all this buttery madness. The ones we have are horribly cheesy. Some of 'em are pretty darn old too. But they work. Then hide them around the house. If you're lucky, you'll forget where you put them and come across them accidentally in April while Spring cleaning your gutters.

Bonus points of you give me a good cookie hiding place!

Off Italy's Beaten Path

By now you may have noticed that I go on and on about a certain wine bar in the West Village – Anfora Wine Bar. After my first encounter with one of the Producer Nights held there on Tuesdays, I just kept returning. Couldn't help myself.

Aside from the wonderful food and welcoming atmosphere, the staff is very knowledgeable and helpful in the wine department. This is mostly due to the Joe Campanale, sommelier and Anfora partner.

I recently attended an exceptional Italian wine class that he taught at the Institute of Culinary Education. Joe has an immense wealth of knowledge on the topic of Italian wine and is an enthusiastic and well-spoken teacher.

On Monday, December 13th, Joe is hosting an Italian wine tasting at Anfora Wine Bar, and I would encourage you all to attend.

There will be wine. Good wine. Italian wine. And a very knowledgeable tour guide to take you through all of it. You can even learn something. For example: what kinds of wine you should be serving at that holiday party you decided to throw even though you haven't done one lick of shopping for it and your Christmas tree keeps falling over. Oh sorry – that's my reason! As an added bonus there will be meats and cheeses from Murray's to complement the wine.

Also, I have looked around and at $50 for wine and food AND education it's quite a deal.

Did I mention there would be wine? Just checking...

Here is the formal information via the Facebook link:

Taste Italian wines to impress even the most knowledgeable oenophile when sommelier and Anfora partner Joe Campanale walks you through some of his favorite and most unique Italian vintages. Taking place at the newest sexy addition to the Dell'Anima/L'Artusi family, Joe will speak in depth about each distinctive wine and answer your questions as you sip thoughtfully through them. For your nibbling enjoyment each wine will be paired with Italian cheeses and meats from Murray's so when you bring this party home you can doubly impress your friends with your new wine and cheese knowledge.

Event Details:
$50 for wine tasting and Italian bites with Joe Campanale; tax and gratuity not included.

To Reserve:
E-mail megan@anforanyc.com

Livin' in the Lap of Luxury (A review of Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar)

Shorties, Playas - this week's review is of Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar on 101 2nd Avenue - abbreviated JLOB.  Something about this joint makes me feel a tad gangsta, dog.  Maybe it's the awesome name.  Or Maybe it is the Japanese/nautical feel.  And bad-ass gangsta rap...or really, just rap... and Japanese precision/excellence are closely related.  Shaolin Shadowboxing, KillBill, the RZA.  In some contexts, the two notions are inseparable.

For the J-Lob experience, Elana is not with me, but I'm accompanied by my dear friends Tim and, JohnandElana minority shareholder, Steve - who has been kind enough to share his bathroom experience later on in this review.

So - JLOB is an under the radar type pad.  No outdoor sign - just a protruding air conditioner that sticks out like a sore thumb.  The inside is, to be generous, cozy.  Tightly assembled wooden tables lined up next to each other, with not much room to spare.  Your neighbor's conversations (and your own) are easily overheard.  Yet it's a cool spot: interesting artwork, old lanterns, and a chef's table make for a unique atmosphere.  I'm digging it a lot, actually.

For dinner, I opt for a tasting menu, which appears to be a nice option: a 5 course meal plus dessert for 55 bucks.  First up, West Coast Oysters with cranberry and chive.  As Pauly D would opine, these oysters were fresh to death.  A nice touch with the hint of cranberry as well.

Second is risotto with wild arugula, a quail egg, bacon, and pecorino cheese.  A runnier than usual than risotto, which I like.  The Egg adds a nice richness, and the bacon supplies punch.

Next is Arctic Char confit with fennel and orange gremolata.  The fennel is provides a noticeable licorice taste to the tender and meaty Char - like a salmon of sorts.  This dish is followed up by Wild striped bass with olives, pickled raisins, mushrooms, and crones.  This course has it all. The Bass is buttery smooth, but there is also a salty/bitter presence by the olives, a sweetness to the raisins, and an earthy presence from the 'shrooms.  A masterpiece here, really.



Next up (as seen directly above) was the duck breast with crisp duck skin and sweet potato puree. The duck, as the pictures suggest (well done motorolla droid!), is cooked crazy nice.  It's juicy and fatty and tasty as hell.  The sweet potato puree is candy-like in its feeling on the t-buds.  Again, another superb job here.

And dessert is a fine job also.  Salted caramel apples with vanilla bean ice cream and apple chips.  Wonderful ice cream, smooth as can be.  And, given the time of year, teaming this up with anything apple related just makes me happy.

As stated above, Steve was kind enough to review the bathrooms.  According to him: "Like the rest of the establishment, the bathroom is tiny and quirky, yet charming and well-groomed. WARNING: whatever you do, you mustn't make eye contact with the evil small child in the old painting facing the mirror"



Service was very good.  Our waitress was particularly attentive and the courses were cleared and reset at a nice pace.  There was, however, an inexplicable long wait for our dessert.  A minor blemish on an otherwise very good experience.

Overall, you're doing yourself a favor if you slip into JLOB for a few courses.  The portions could be considered a tad small, but the idea is to not gorge yourself.  Order a few dishes (which were all extremely well presented by the way) and enjoy the diverse and smart experience.

Overall Movie Experience - Heat

The Levain of My Existence

Bread. I love it. To me, it's carbohydrate in its most fantastic form. White, wheat, rye, sourdough, walnut-cranberry oat, baguettes, rolls, brioche and, yes, pizza dough.

I love the way it smells when it's cooking. And even when it's just rising, sitting there on my kitchen table with some random dish towel thrown over it (bread likes to be tucked in like a little kid in bed).

Recently I've been doing some reading up on bread making. You all might have suggestions of other things I could be doing with my time. Anyway, it was from this reading that I first heard the term "levain". According to Wikipedia, levain is a type of pre-ferment which is made in two fermentation steps from an active sourdough-starter culture, flour and water. It yields a rather dry and porous dough which may be kept refrigerated for up to a week.

Basically, you start growing a yeast naturally, instead of using one of those pre-packaged yeasts, with just flour and water. Then it grows (like a Chia-Pet I imagine) and you use this chia-goop to make bread. The best part is that you can keep it indefinitely as long as you keep it alive by feeding it! It's like a pet! And even though I already have Toby, I imagine he won't mind a yeasty addition to our apartment that we can keep in the fridge.

Supposedly, it makes a better tasting bread than using a regular yeast package. A better tasting bread that I could potentially make a superior PIZZA DOUGH with. And annihilate the competition at the next PIZZ-OFF! Did I just say that out loud?

Sometimes I forget to use my inside voice.

So here we go. I am opening up the Laboratorio Semi Moderno for levain! For Science! For pizza dough! And I am going to document the whole thing, and give you updates. For example: Day 15: The yeasty blob has oozed all over the fridge and taken the carrots hostage. It's now threatening the butter. Please send reinforcements. And pizza toppings.

I also plan on naming the levain. I was thinking of "Ferdinand" but I am open to suggestions.

To begin, the instructions are simple. You will need 1 cup of flour:



Plus, 1 cup of warm water:



Then, you combine them in a container (I used a candy-cane festooned tupperware that I apprehended leftovers in from my friend Stacey):



Mix all that madness up and you will get a goo (like the topmost photo). Cover this magical goo with the lid and let it sit on your counter.

Every 24 hours you need to feed your Chia-Goo. This is very important. To do this, you dump out HALF the goo, and mix in another 1/2 cup flour and 1/2 cup water. Why? I just don't know, but this is what everyone tells me to do, and I'm just going to do it without question.

After a week of feeding it every 24 hours and keeping it on the counter top (temperatures between 70-80 degrees are best. 100 degrees is too hot for your Chia-Goo), you can move it into the fridge and only feed it once every week.

So that's what's going on right now in the Laboratorio. Exciting place, no? I thought so. Updates will follow!

If anyone wants to play along in this levain making madness, please feel free. And send me updates. Or cries of distress. I respond to either.